The Absence of Desire in Bollywood's Discourse on Sex and Sexuality

Mustard fields and bustling cities, mesmerising colours, and sensational music—this is what Bollywood brings to its viewers. With the splendour, we are most often treated to cliche love stories we all fall in love with. However, a very important part of the discourse of romantic love gets ignored at best and villainized at worst. This essay aims to explore the absence of desire in Bollywood's conversations about sex and sexuality, drawing on two movies, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga, to illuminate this omission.

One significant aspect of this omission is the adherence to a more traditional, puritanical approach to relationships. In Bollywood films, romantic love is celebrated and uplifted as pure and untainted. Filmmakers often resort to symbolic representations or metaphors to allude to sexual desire instead of addressing it directly. This practice reinforces the idea that discussing sexual desire openly is taboo in Bollywood. This portrayal often ignores the natural human instincts of sexual desire and attraction, which are essential elements in any intimate relationship, while also being incongruent with the contemporary discourse on sexuality. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995) is perhaps one of the most iconic Bollywood movies of all time. The central plot of DDLJ' revolves around Simran's love affair with Raj, portrayed by Shah Rukh Khan. The relationship is founded on love but is kept hidden from her father due to Yash's traditional beliefs, leading to an atmosphere of censorship and fear within the family. The plot is taken forward with Raj’s undying conviction to get Simran’s father’s approval. The reconciliation between Yash Raichand and Raj is seen as a move towards a less conservative view on marriage, but is ironically shown through the iconic train station scene. Yash tells his daughter, “Ja Simran ja, jee le apni zindagi”, and hands his daughter to Raj. There, the film allows for an infinitesimal display of the individual desire of Simran without truly challenging the patriarchal structure that keeps that desire oppressed. Underneath the charming love story, DDLJ also portrays the theme of the censorship of individual desire imposed by patriarchal figures within Indian families. Simran's character serves as a vehicle for exploring the concept of censorship within the family. She is expected to conform to the norms set by her father, leading to self-censorship of her desires and aspirations. Yash Raichand's authority is so pervasive that it leads to Simran suppressing her dreams and aspirations. This is best shown in the scene where Simran breaks down when she has to face the reality of her engagement to Kuljeet, which is understood to be shyness by her father, who applauds his parenting for instilling in her the timidity required of a good Indian girl. Perhaps DDLJ’s most important contribution to Indian cinema was the picture-perfect reconciliation between individual desire and the social responsibilities marriage in Indian culture often involves. It is often said that in India, marriage is not between two people but between two families. Individual desire, therefore, threatens the very foundation of what marriage means, according to Indian traditions. Bollywood films have traditionally shied away from explicitly depicting the nuances of desire, especially in the context of sexual relationships. As Shohini Ghosh writes in her article The Closet Is Ajar, “Bombay cinema rarely represents romance through sexual explicitness. Therefore, the cinematic devices used to represent love are similar, even identical, to those depicting friendship.” The romantic relationship between Sweety and Kuhu in the movie Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga is almost ridiculously sanitised, with side hugs and holding hands being the entire depiction of romance between the two. In fact, they show that Sweety’s brother, Babloo, becomes enraged that Sweety and Kuhu exchanged notes in private, something that looks so inconspicuous if not for the context of the movie being about lesbianism. Babloo Chaudhary, Sweety’s brother, takes on the role of enforcing patriarchy’s censorship of desire on Sweety. In order to discuss its follies, the filmmaker tries to draw a parallel between Sweety's being unable to legitimately desire women and her father’s lifelong dream of being India’s best chef being repressed by his mother. Here, the normalisation is not of the desire but of the violence that comes with pursuing individual desire. Sweety’s love for Kuhu comes with some real consequences, whereas Balbir Chaudhary's love for cooking makes way for some comedic relief in the movie. There is a general reluctance to explore the diverse and complex spectrum of sexual desires that exist. Desire is a foundational aspect of sexuality. Intimacy is foundational to romance. The lack of space for healthy intimacy and desire in stories about love has some serious consequences. While one can dismiss this exclusion as making Bollywood movies palatable for “masses' ', it is important to ask why Bollywood does not see itself as an important part of what society decides is palatable. Bollywood influences Indian pop culture and, by extension, Indian culture itself. Therefore, DDLJ being a cult classic and Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga being Bombay Cinema’s way of addressing lgbtq+ rights may be of concern to us as viewers. Mustard fields and bustling cities can be grounds for unrepressed love, while mesmerising colours and sensational music can inspire the masses to embrace desire. Bibliography

1. Yash Chopra; directed by Aditya Chopra; produced by Yash Chopra. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge Mumbai: Yash Raj Films, 1995.

2. “Watch Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga | Netflix.” n.d. Www.netflix.com. Accessed October 15, 2023. https://www.netflix.com/in/title/81076749?source=35.

3. Uberoi, Patricia. 1998. “The Diaspora Comes Home: Disciplining Desire in DDLJ.” Contributions to Indian Sociology 32 (2): 305–36. https://doi.org/10.1177/006996679803200208.

4. Rohan, Aaron. n.d., “ASIA COLLOQUIA PAPERS about the AUTHOR of Bollywood’s Queer Dostana: Articulating a Transnational Queer Indian Identity and Family in 2008's Dostana.” Accessed October 15, 2023. https://ycar.apps01.yorku.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/George-CSASW.pdf.

5. Ghosh, Shohini. 2022. Review of The Closet Is Ajar. Outlook, February.